The Psychology of Door Handles - A Call to Action
Dear Reader,
Allow me to introduce you to two of the premiere hospitality homes of Salt Lake City: the Little America and Grand America hotels.
Situated directly across main street from each other, these prestigious properties share more than a last name. They also share a philosophy of customer and employee humiliation through the direct manipulation of door handles. 
*Please note that the handle depicted above is merely similar to those found at the Little and Grand Americas, and is not intended to be a direct representation or caricature of said handles.
This philosophy is made manifest in the placement of one handle of the general type shown above on both sides of the doors. Quite naturally, this results in great confusion on the part of weak minded humans who harbor an unreasonable natural inclination to pull such handles as these. When entering the hotels, this is not an issue, as the doors universally open outward. Upon leaving however, door users are publicly abused for the amusement of others through the practical revelation of their unfounded assumption that the presence of such a handle as that pictured necessarily implies the possibility of opening the door by pulling. But this, of course, is not so, as any thinking person should realize. Instead, each door must be carefully examined to determine whether pulling or pushing be the correct method of gaining access to the world outside. This author has personally seen some individuals pull repeatedly on first one door handle, then another and another until all doors have been tried repeatedly, at which time the would-be door user concludes that the doors are simply locked, and goes off in search of another exit - perhaps a window or a tunnel.
It is this blog's considered opinion that such inhumane door handling practices as that discussed above ought not only to be avoided, but, when found, publicly revealed and justly punished. Interested readers are encouraged to lodge complaints with the management of these hotels, and to donate to the Abused Door-User Mental Rehabilitation Fund. All donations can be sent directly to the author.
Allow me to introduce you to two of the premiere hospitality homes of Salt Lake City: the Little America and Grand America hotels.
Situated directly across main street from each other, these prestigious properties share more than a last name. They also share a philosophy of customer and employee humiliation through the direct manipulation of door handles. *Please note that the handle depicted above is merely similar to those found at the Little and Grand Americas, and is not intended to be a direct representation or caricature of said handles.This philosophy is made manifest in the placement of one handle of the general type shown above on both sides of the doors. Quite naturally, this results in great confusion on the part of weak minded humans who harbor an unreasonable natural inclination to pull such handles as these. When entering the hotels, this is not an issue, as the doors universally open outward. Upon leaving however, door users are publicly abused for the amusement of others through the practical revelation of their unfounded assumption that the presence of such a handle as that pictured necessarily implies the possibility of opening the door by pulling. But this, of course, is not so, as any thinking person should realize. Instead, each door must be carefully examined to determine whether pulling or pushing be the correct method of gaining access to the world outside. This author has personally seen some individuals pull repeatedly on first one door handle, then another and another until all doors have been tried repeatedly, at which time the would-be door user concludes that the doors are simply locked, and goes off in search of another exit - perhaps a window or a tunnel.
It is this blog's considered opinion that such inhumane door handling practices as that discussed above ought not only to be avoided, but, when found, publicly revealed and justly punished. Interested readers are encouraged to lodge complaints with the management of these hotels, and to donate to the Abused Door-User Mental Rehabilitation Fund. All donations can be sent directly to the author.
Comments
Stick it to em.