Cuss Words!
I don't cuss. I just don't - never have. Get me steaming mad and I might start yelling, but the language will be clean enough to wipe your kitchen counter with. Drop an anvil on my foot and I'll jump up and down emitting wordless cries of agony, but never a vile word. I don't even make up fake cuss words and use those. I've actually taken satisfaction in noticing this fact in the odd, detached way you notice things when your attention should be riveted entirely on other matters, like a bleeding appendage. I've been pleased to see that my instinctual utterances contain no language to embarrass me in front of my children or anyone else.
In fact, I'm the kind of avid non-cusser that makes world-champion cussers take a sabbatical. I don't even have to say anything; cussing simply happens less when I'm around. Still, several people I consider friends are world-champion cussers and they don't cut back just to suit me. To you guys, I don't hold it against you. I congratulate you for your integrity. You may think I'm joking about that, but I'm quite serious and if you understand why then you're a much more thoughtful, charitable person than I used to be.
Why don't I cuss? It might all stem from that one time I said a bad word (not what would be considered a cuss word by any means, but still an unacceptable one in my house) when I was a kid and my mom washed my mouth out with soap. Children, I can tell you from firsthand experience that is not merely an idle threat. I was shocked. I can taste it still if I try. I vowed then and there never to use another word that could result in such an experience. Few childhood incidents have impressed/scarred me so deeply.
Thanks, Mom.
But that couldn't really be all, could it? Has nothing else happened in my life to enforce this admittedly unusual behavior of mine? Am I afraid that my mother would still hunt me down with a bar of soap if she heard of me cussing?
Well, she might at that, but the thought isn't what keeps me acting this way. I'm not afraid of cuss words, or any words. I don't use them as a basis for shallow judgments of people or art, nor do I take them too lightly. Words are tools - more specifically they are meaning carriers. The combination of sounds we call a word is no more than a verbal symbol we recognize as representing a certain concept. I use some erstwhile cuss words in a non-cussing context, when there are legitimate meanings attached that are still in common enough usage as to be relevant and not distracting. I use those words readily and without remorse. But words are tools. The way I build my communications influences how effective they are, and so I try to choose the best tools for the job.
Let us briefly consider some common cuss words, and then you may get a sense for why I don't use them.
1. H**l
Of all the cuss words, this one probably gets more mistaken than any other. By that, I mean that people use it a lot in ways that are really not crude at all, but express a legitimate concept rather well. For example, some say "It will be a cold day in hell before..." Now we all know that whether hell is actually hot or not, it has been scripturally compared to eternal fire. So this phrase really expresses the impossibility of something quite effectively. Still, it is often mistaken for cussing because people think hell is a bad word. It's not. It's a bad place (or condition, depending on your beliefs). I think this statement and others like it can be spoken without cussing.
Other uses, however, such as "what the ---- did you do that for?" just don't make any sense at all. Here the point of using the word in question is to add force to the expression through illegitimate reference to a deeply significant religious concept. It is the essence of cussing. It takes something that should be serious, and uses it out of all context or appropriateness just for impact. It demonstrates a lack of proper respect and of ability to express oneself, and it distracts. So I don't do it.
2. S**t
This word has reference to excrement. How many situations is that really useful in? Nowadays, though, this word is frequently used to denote something someone likes a lot - an ideal or paragon of excellence in a thing. The irony is staggering.
3. D**n
Here again, I'm totally comfortable saying "damn" in an appropriate context. For example, sinners who do not repent are damned. That's legit. On the other hand, this word is frequently used to denounce things or people we don't like. Such use implies that the salvation or damnation of these individuals or things is up to us. It is arrogance itself. It is the ultimate in unrighteous dominion. I don't do it.
4. G*d
I'm a religious man. It should be obvious why I object to any name of deity being used as an expletive. God can of course be referred to appropriately, but let all people beware how they take His name in their lips. This is the only kind of cussing explicitly forbidden by scripture, yet it is often considered the most innocuous. I don't find any obscene use of this word, whether in an acronym, with a few letters altered to sound different, or more blatant, to be acceptable. Again, it is the meaning one wishes to communicate, not the word used to do it, that matters.
5. B***h
This term for a female dog is utterly unflattering. It is most commonly used to insinuate that a woman is difficult or otherwise undesirable to be/deal with, or to indicate that someone is whining - like an obnoxious female dog, presumably. A strange trend has arisen, however, in which young women refer to each other this way if not affectionately, then at least with some kind of congratulatory or admiring implication.
I don't get it. If a young woman called my daughter this name in my hearing, however she meant it, I'd send her off forthwith. If a young man did it, I might punch him. The whining meaning I can at least see a little bit of sense in, but it's linked so closely with a negative image of womanhood, that I don't think anyone pictures an irritating dog when the term is used.
6. F**k
Ah, the infamous "F word." It is a crude reference to the sex act, completely devoid of any sense of its sanctity. The word's flippancy is the most offensive thing about it. What does it say about us, I wonder, that we do not balk at the blasphemous use of God's holy name, but turn pale whenever someone profanes the name of sex? I also wonder what it means that many of those who use this word often use it in association with everything. They use it to mean both good and bad things, or to mean nothing at all. Perhaps it reflects our culture's preoccupation with bedroom activities. I don't think I've heard any other cuss word used quite like this one: namely to separate almost every single word of every single sentence, as though the natural pauses and vocal cues involved in speaking were not enough. I choose to speak more respectfully of the means by which life is created.
Needless to say, there are more cuss words than those I've mentioned, but I really don't feel a need to go through them all. By now you probably get the gist of my thinking on the matter. It isn't that I'm looking for excuses to condemn these words or their users. I just don't feel they reflect the kind of communication I'm interested in, and in most cases I don't find their legitimate meanings important enough to make them an active part of my dialogue.
On the other hand, they draw negative attention to themselves and those who speak them, instead of to the message that forms their context. I was going to say their purpose is to shock, but in today's social environment, they're not even so shocking anymore; they more often serve as fillers when imagination or vocabulary falls short.
There is no scriptural admonition I know of against cuss words per se, only warnings about the influence of the tongue on the rest of the being and injunctions to avoid foul language. There is a commandment not to take the Lord's name in vain, of course, and one against swearing, but that has to do with oaths, not expletives. There is a difference. You may find it strange that I distinguish between cuss words and foul language, but any reader of the Old Testament will see that the Lord and His prophets use colorful expressions to make points regularly. But they do not do so with vileness. It is a fine line.
I think part of whatever credibility I have comes from the fact that, while I'm not the best spoken person around, I do hold to strict standards about my language. My complete lack of cussing may have come as a reaction to a forceful parental intervention, but I've kept the stance I took then ever since. I now have better reasons for it than fear of a soapy mouth. I don't condemn those who cuss so long as they do it from a considered perspective and actually mean the words they say. As for me as a lifelong abstainer, however, I simply choose not to say them.
In fact, I'm the kind of avid non-cusser that makes world-champion cussers take a sabbatical. I don't even have to say anything; cussing simply happens less when I'm around. Still, several people I consider friends are world-champion cussers and they don't cut back just to suit me. To you guys, I don't hold it against you. I congratulate you for your integrity. You may think I'm joking about that, but I'm quite serious and if you understand why then you're a much more thoughtful, charitable person than I used to be.
Why don't I cuss? It might all stem from that one time I said a bad word (not what would be considered a cuss word by any means, but still an unacceptable one in my house) when I was a kid and my mom washed my mouth out with soap. Children, I can tell you from firsthand experience that is not merely an idle threat. I was shocked. I can taste it still if I try. I vowed then and there never to use another word that could result in such an experience. Few childhood incidents have impressed/scarred me so deeply.
Thanks, Mom.
But that couldn't really be all, could it? Has nothing else happened in my life to enforce this admittedly unusual behavior of mine? Am I afraid that my mother would still hunt me down with a bar of soap if she heard of me cussing?
Well, she might at that, but the thought isn't what keeps me acting this way. I'm not afraid of cuss words, or any words. I don't use them as a basis for shallow judgments of people or art, nor do I take them too lightly. Words are tools - more specifically they are meaning carriers. The combination of sounds we call a word is no more than a verbal symbol we recognize as representing a certain concept. I use some erstwhile cuss words in a non-cussing context, when there are legitimate meanings attached that are still in common enough usage as to be relevant and not distracting. I use those words readily and without remorse. But words are tools. The way I build my communications influences how effective they are, and so I try to choose the best tools for the job.
Let us briefly consider some common cuss words, and then you may get a sense for why I don't use them.
1. H**l
Of all the cuss words, this one probably gets more mistaken than any other. By that, I mean that people use it a lot in ways that are really not crude at all, but express a legitimate concept rather well. For example, some say "It will be a cold day in hell before..." Now we all know that whether hell is actually hot or not, it has been scripturally compared to eternal fire. So this phrase really expresses the impossibility of something quite effectively. Still, it is often mistaken for cussing because people think hell is a bad word. It's not. It's a bad place (or condition, depending on your beliefs). I think this statement and others like it can be spoken without cussing.
Other uses, however, such as "what the ---- did you do that for?" just don't make any sense at all. Here the point of using the word in question is to add force to the expression through illegitimate reference to a deeply significant religious concept. It is the essence of cussing. It takes something that should be serious, and uses it out of all context or appropriateness just for impact. It demonstrates a lack of proper respect and of ability to express oneself, and it distracts. So I don't do it.
2. S**t
This word has reference to excrement. How many situations is that really useful in? Nowadays, though, this word is frequently used to denote something someone likes a lot - an ideal or paragon of excellence in a thing. The irony is staggering.
3. D**n
Here again, I'm totally comfortable saying "damn" in an appropriate context. For example, sinners who do not repent are damned. That's legit. On the other hand, this word is frequently used to denounce things or people we don't like. Such use implies that the salvation or damnation of these individuals or things is up to us. It is arrogance itself. It is the ultimate in unrighteous dominion. I don't do it.
4. G*d
I'm a religious man. It should be obvious why I object to any name of deity being used as an expletive. God can of course be referred to appropriately, but let all people beware how they take His name in their lips. This is the only kind of cussing explicitly forbidden by scripture, yet it is often considered the most innocuous. I don't find any obscene use of this word, whether in an acronym, with a few letters altered to sound different, or more blatant, to be acceptable. Again, it is the meaning one wishes to communicate, not the word used to do it, that matters.
5. B***h
This term for a female dog is utterly unflattering. It is most commonly used to insinuate that a woman is difficult or otherwise undesirable to be/deal with, or to indicate that someone is whining - like an obnoxious female dog, presumably. A strange trend has arisen, however, in which young women refer to each other this way if not affectionately, then at least with some kind of congratulatory or admiring implication.
I don't get it. If a young woman called my daughter this name in my hearing, however she meant it, I'd send her off forthwith. If a young man did it, I might punch him. The whining meaning I can at least see a little bit of sense in, but it's linked so closely with a negative image of womanhood, that I don't think anyone pictures an irritating dog when the term is used.
6. F**k
Ah, the infamous "F word." It is a crude reference to the sex act, completely devoid of any sense of its sanctity. The word's flippancy is the most offensive thing about it. What does it say about us, I wonder, that we do not balk at the blasphemous use of God's holy name, but turn pale whenever someone profanes the name of sex? I also wonder what it means that many of those who use this word often use it in association with everything. They use it to mean both good and bad things, or to mean nothing at all. Perhaps it reflects our culture's preoccupation with bedroom activities. I don't think I've heard any other cuss word used quite like this one: namely to separate almost every single word of every single sentence, as though the natural pauses and vocal cues involved in speaking were not enough. I choose to speak more respectfully of the means by which life is created.
Needless to say, there are more cuss words than those I've mentioned, but I really don't feel a need to go through them all. By now you probably get the gist of my thinking on the matter. It isn't that I'm looking for excuses to condemn these words or their users. I just don't feel they reflect the kind of communication I'm interested in, and in most cases I don't find their legitimate meanings important enough to make them an active part of my dialogue.
On the other hand, they draw negative attention to themselves and those who speak them, instead of to the message that forms their context. I was going to say their purpose is to shock, but in today's social environment, they're not even so shocking anymore; they more often serve as fillers when imagination or vocabulary falls short.
There is no scriptural admonition I know of against cuss words per se, only warnings about the influence of the tongue on the rest of the being and injunctions to avoid foul language. There is a commandment not to take the Lord's name in vain, of course, and one against swearing, but that has to do with oaths, not expletives. There is a difference. You may find it strange that I distinguish between cuss words and foul language, but any reader of the Old Testament will see that the Lord and His prophets use colorful expressions to make points regularly. But they do not do so with vileness. It is a fine line.
I think part of whatever credibility I have comes from the fact that, while I'm not the best spoken person around, I do hold to strict standards about my language. My complete lack of cussing may have come as a reaction to a forceful parental intervention, but I've kept the stance I took then ever since. I now have better reasons for it than fear of a soapy mouth. I don't condemn those who cuss so long as they do it from a considered perspective and actually mean the words they say. As for me as a lifelong abstainer, however, I simply choose not to say them.
Comments
My grandfather suggested you communicate nothing better than your own ignorance when you use such base vocabulary. I tend to agree. Still, I am hardly offended when others use these terms.
I think the admonition to refrain from light-mindedness could be construed as suggesting we avoid using these terms in ways that debase or make light of the more serious aspects of life.
I enjoyed your post, by the way.